Breaking up is always hard to do, and more likely than not someone is going to end up in tears. There’s no point sugar-coating it, but sometimes even (who you thought was) Mr Right can get it WAY wrong. The end of a relationship is never a good thing, but there is a time, a place and a way to do it to make sure the time, energy, effort and emotion invested in the relationship isn’t all wiped away by one messy act of epic a**holery. Here are 24 ways to never, ever break up with someone...no matter how badly you want to! (And no, we’re not making this sh*t up, we know people who’ve done these.)
Or even in the middle of the act.
The “finger” emoji is all you deserve in life.
What’s the subject going to be? “Sorry, I’m a jackass”?
Have some guts!
Tweeting at them won’t fly either!
“I’m so sorry, I don’t mean to be a jerk - but I hope you never get laid again, and get laid off at work”
This one pretty much classifies you as a relationship sociopath.
No, disappearing on their ass is not the answer.
It does NOT count as one last act of PDA.
If there is one thing from Sex And The City you’ve learnt, that should not be it.
That’s just plain...sleazy.
There’s NO coming back from this one.
Does not make it cute! Makes you a Class A douchebag, though.
You’d do better by cancelling that dinner and talking to them the day after instead.
Have some respect! (And basic human consideration.)
You might actually end up getting dumped yourself!
It’s not going to get you any likes.
Does not matter whether they’re yours or theirs.
If you want to do it, at least have the balls to say it.
Don’t be surprised if they throw furniture at you. Or try to throw you off a building.
If they drink up everything in the minibar and then sneak out in the middle of the night, leaving you holding the hotel bill - that would still be too good for you.
No, they’re not going to thank you for orchestrating either the worst flight or the most horrible period of radio-silence of their lives.
That is just MEAN.