There comes a watershed point in every girl’s life – and that’s the big three-oh. Because, you know, Indian society would (still!) have us believe that 30+ is the wrong side of 30. It’s the age when you step over the line from “youth” to “maturity”. In the case of the single woman, of course, it means you’re transitioning from “young thing” to “on the shelf”, with absolutely nothing in between. Your 30th birthday brings with it not only dessert that’s more candles than cake but also a horde of “well-wishers” who are really, really worried about you! And here’s what they have to say…
1. That there is something seriously wrong. With you.
No, Rina Mausi, I swear I don’t have an infectious disease! No, not even B.O.
2. That you really aren’t dressing right!
What? You think my bodycon mini is responsible for my dire straits? Why didn’t you tell me before?!
3. That it’s high time you got those greys dyed
And do further damage to my rapidly thinning hair? I don’t think so.
4. That you should get a more “relaxed” job
Yes, sure. Why don’t I just give up on my career and GO HOME, right?
5. That you need to think about your parents
I do. Constantly. About the fact that they tell me how proud they are of me.
6. That you really should quit those bad habits
You mean this glass of whisky in my hand ain’t doing it for you?
7. That those rishtas are going to dry up soon…
Thank goodness! Will save my parents the awkwardness of trying to explain to people that they’d rather I choose a partner than force random mundas down my throat.
8. That it’s time to settle down
You mean: time to lower my standards and “settle”, right?
9. That you have to think about long-term financial security
Should I be prepping for a divorce with a big, fat alimony cheque already?
10. That your biological clock is ticking
Tick-tock-tick-tock! Yes, I hear it too – it’s telling me to end this conversation and get the hell out of here right NOW.
Images: Shutterstock, Tumblr
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