If life were a Disney movie, we wouldn't mind kissing a few frogs along the way to get to our Prince Charming. The good news is that even though life isn't a Disney movie, at the end of it all, we do end up with our Prince Charming. The flipside - the desi version of kissing frogs is not as easy as *smooch* and *poof*!
The rishta meeting all too often involves the resolute attempts of a match-making aunty (a.ka., Rishta Aunty) who makes it her life's purpose to bring together the parents of eligible boys and girls. You know - the whole rigmarole of the boy's family coming home, the girl bringing in the chai and samosas, pretending to be a demure prospective DIL, yada yada. Here's a list of stupid questions (definitely not all-inclusive) that you get asked at rishta meetings!
1. Engineer hai, aur abroad main hai, toh market value bhi zyada honi chahiye na?
In the words of the boy's mother, who wants to make sure that Mama's boy gets the best price possible.
2. Woh sab toh theek hain, par rotiyan-shotiyan toh bana leti hogi ?
She's a neurosurgeon, but that's all right. What is more important is that does she know how to make gol-gol rotis
3. She’s too modern/ She's too forward.
This is the feedback you would usually get from Rishta Aunty. What does that even mean? Is one supposed to go back to one’s cavewoman existence?
4. Thodi healthy hai na?
Nope, this doesn't mean "healthy and dandy". It just means "fat". Don't be surprised if they say it in front of you and your parents, no consideration whatsoever.
5. Beta, please stand up and walk for us.
Be prepared to strut around! Also, you will be chastised on the height of your heels!
6. Beta, did you make the samosas and this pastry?
And you are thinking "Do you think my sole aim in life is to make samosas
and pastries? I can't wait until you leave so that I can devour that pineapple cake!"
7. Prospective in-laws trying to look at your toes...
Just to let you know that they're looking to see if your middle toe is longer than your big toe. And God forbid if that’s the case, you are definitely not the choice. They don't need a dominating and controlling bahu
for their poor, gullible son! Yes, that’s what different-sized toes stand for.
8. "So, when do you want to start this relationship?" the boy asks
9. "What are your opinions on family planning?" - the boy again
I definitely don't want to plan my family with YOU.
The rishta meeting may come across as a nightmare, but you will meet your Prince Charming eventually. Until then, suck it up and grab that chai tray!
GIFs: Giphy, Tumblr, Bollypop
MUST-READ: What to Do When You Get a Rishta
MUST-READ: Why Arranged Marriages Work!