No doubt that your friends and ex hanging out together is a deadly combination, and there are plenty of reasons why you kind of freak out if they hang out together. But given that you are (hopefully!) a mature adult who can’t exactly throw a tantrum about this and offend all your friends, here’s what you can do to deal.
Since you probably don’t want him back, it’s time both you and he reclaimed people and places that were associated with the two of you as a couple (favourite bars, preferred movie halls, cherished restaurants, and so on). Go visit a pub you both loved with a new bunch of friends. Invite your common friends over for dinner one day. Kill the “me + him + our friends” memories positively so that you both can make new ones.
Your friends are a better medium than FB, Instagram or Twitter to let your ex know what a genuinely fantastic time you are having without him. So focus on HAVING that fantastic time. Maybe it will help him realize that the end of your relationship is his loss too and not just yours.
His friends, my friends, his buffer, my buffer… gosh, too much melodrama! Especially if you had a lot of common friends. Avoid getting into arguments about all of this, or even thinking about ! Allow everyone the space and time to transition into the new social dynamics now that the two of you are not together.
Don’t be the sad sap in your group who is stuck on her past. Instead, be cool, get past the hurt and focus on your life ahead.
It’s important for you to get to spend time with new people who are not bogged down by the history of your relationship. When you’re feeling low, give them a call. Go for a drink or movie with them instead of wondering what Those Guys are up to.
Understand that you have nothing to do with your friends’ behaviour and in their choosing other people they want to be friends with. They are allowed to make their own selections. It may piss you off or even hurt, but just grit your teeth and accept it. Life is difficult enough - don’t make it harder still by letting little grievances affect your friendships.
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