We can all do little things that go a long way in making our marriage or any other significant relationship happier, healthier and more fun. Relationships are evolutionary, a constant work in progress - from the over-charged jumping-each-others-bones-constantly phase, where lust is the predominant emotion, to the OMG-what-is-he-thinking eye-roll, which we all do now and then. Here are the little things you should do to keep the buzz going…
This subconsciously reinforces happy moments even when you are not really seeing eye-to-eye over whose turn it is to do the laundry or the dishes or deal with the insurance guy.
While watching TV, or a movie or if both of you are in the backseat of a car. Spontaneous, random touches become second nature - and that’s a good thing.
You might love wearing his T-shirt to bed, but once in a while put on something that makes him notice. Wear that dress you wore to your first anniversary dinner. Clothes are evocative. Stir those memories.
This is harder than it seems. Kids, family, friends, even staff. We are constantly surrounded by other people. Once in a while, every week or so, set up a time when it’s just the two of you - and keep those phones away.
Negotiate gadget-free times. Keep them sacrosanct. We are going through life glued to the screens in front of us. Switch off the TV. Put the laptop down. Put those phones away - over dinner, while having a conversation, or just hanging out. Ban them from your bedroom. Begin your day like our parents did - with a cup of steaming chai and conversation.
Send him a WhatsApp message saying “I love you”. Text him something silly, something naughty. Make him smile in the middle of a meeting. Surprise him with game tickets - go with him to the game.
Don’t fall into the my-friends-your-friends rut. It’s easier said than done, but make an effort with his friends. Even if you don’t like them, you need to understand them. Be his fuss-free date, who is okay with just hanging out with him and his buddies, no pressure, no expectations.
Tell him those tiny details, make him feel involved in your life. He might look like his eyes are glazing over, but keep at it. Tell him how you are feeling, what upset you, what made you smile.