How NOT to Let the Fights with Your Partner Get Out of Control! | POPxo

How NOT to Let the Fights with Your Partner Get Out of Control!

Aisha Singh

Guest Contributor

All couples fight. Constantly. Over big things, little things. Since the two of you are not the same person, it is inevitable that you will have differences of opinion. But what you’ve got to do is make sure that you don’t let your squabbles overtake and overwhelm your relationship. Here is how to NOT let those fights with your partner let everything turn into an unhealthy mess!



1. Don’t have the same fight over and over again


Nothing is more draining. You think he’s too laidback, he thinks you are too competitive - understand the dynamics of why you fight and see beyond them. If it gets too much, consider professional counselling. But ban those pointed barbs at each other. Remember, you are both in this together. And he is possibly hurting as much as you are when you fight.



2. Don’t bitch your man out


Ever. To your bestie, your mum, or your sister. You are his biggest champion. Even when when he’s being an ass.


fights with your partner, How NOT to Let the Fights with Your Partner Get Out of Control! | POPxo, fights with your partner



3. Don’t fight in front of others


Your parents, and especially your kids. Once this boundary is broken, you both lose that tiny bit of trust.



4. Stop playing the blame game


Yes, he was mean to you two weeks ago. You fought it out. It’s done. Don’t refer to old grudges - or it becomes a never-ending battle.


fights with your partner, How NOT to Let the Fights with Your Partner Get Out of Control! | POPxo, fights with your partner



5. Abandon the “silent treatment”


You should be able to tell him in a mature fashion why you are upset in a way that does not set his back up. “I am upset because I felt you were XXXX” is way better than a) saying nothing; and/ or b) saying “You are such a b$^$^£& - you did not XXXX”.



6. Stop nagging


The more you nag, the more he withdraws and keeps quiet and seethes inside. Not healthy.


fights with your partner, How NOT to Let the Fights with Your Partner Get Out of Control! | POPxo, fights with your partner



7. Keep the big picture in mind


Ultimately, you are investing in keeping the relationship going, right? If not, you should be reading a whole other post. If your goal is to stay together, don’t sweat the small things. End the fight.



8. Never sleep on a fight


Have it out. Then kiss, cuddle and make up. Sleeping on opposite ends of the bed ’coz you are fighting is just plain silly.


fights with your partner, How NOT to Let the Fights with Your Partner Get Out of Control! | POPxo, fights with your partner



9. Don’t ever play the “I’m leaving” card unless you are prepared to do so


It is the nuclear option. It creates an uncertainty that lingers forever.

GIFs: giphy, tumblr

MUST-READ: #SOS: How to Stop the Never-Ending Fight with Your Partner

MUST-READ: #ConjugalConfessions: 5 Lessons You Learn in the First Year of Being Married
Published on Jan 20, 2015
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