Calcutta is a city full of surprises and contradictions. And if you are a Calcuttan, you absolutely love your city and will probably agree with this list. And no, it's not Kolkata, it's Calcutta!
You know you are from Calcutta when...
1. You are constantly battling the urge to put on your monkey cap and muffler whenever the temperature drops below 25 degrees.
2. Other people fall prey to influenza. You suffer from “season change” illnesses.
3. You have been brought up to swear by the miraculous properties of Gelusil and Boroline. They are the cures for everything, from indigestion to amnesia.
4. You know the virtues of buying your fish fresh every morning. The fish is not fresh if it doesn’t speak to you. You also know how to cook ilish (hilsa) in about 19 different ways.
5. You were taught to value “culture” and “intellect” more than your life. Your elders have accused you of indulging in “oposhongskriti” (bad culture).
6. Tagore and Marx are your patron saints. Or you at least feel that they should be.
7. These are the three pillars of life and living for you: rice, adda and phuchka.
8. A meal is never complete without mishti. If you are not stocked up on roshogolla or shondesh, some gur will do just fine.
9. A Sunday breakfast is unimaginable without luchi-torkari and, of course, mishti.
10. Most of your books are bought second-hand from College Street. You have also sold the ones you don’t need any more there.
11. Everyone in your family holds a subscription to the local lending library (for the princely sum of Rs 25 a month).
12. You know what Trams are.
Image: Wiki Commons
13. You have grown up with these special school holidays: Durga Pujo, Rainy Day and Bandh.
14. Other people have holiday flings; you have pujo romances.
15. You have your very own version of Valentine’s Day: Saraswati Pujo. The designated day for all students to dress up in their traditional finest and engage in some wholesome flirtation.
16. When you say River Ganga, you mean the Hooghly river.
17. You judge people who live in Rajarhat. Satellite cities are for tech-industry barbarians.
18. The Victoria Memorial grounds and Nolbon are where you made your first forays into "Adult Love".
19. You have written poetry as a teenager. You probably still do.
20. There are two kinds of people in the world: Bengalis and non-Bengalis.
21. You always stand up for a fellow Bengali, but never miss a chance to steal a march over him/her when there are no non-Bengalis around.
22. Everyone in your family believes that the bhadralok occupies the top spot on the evolutionary chart.
23. Even if you have never been to the Coffee House, you swear by its nostalgia.
24. The Boi Mela, or the Kolkata Book Fair, has been the biggest annual event in your calendar since you could walk. Second only to Durga Pujo.
25. You know everything about The Beatles.
Image: Wiki Commons
26. Park Street is the place to be. And Someplace Else is the place to find you.
27. Christmas will always hold a special place in your heart. The midnight mass at the St Pauls Cathedral and the mince pies at Nahoums beckon you every December.
28. You consume at least 10 cups of tea a day.
29. Your accent while speaking a non-native tongue is the stuff of legend.
30. You have a pathological need to gossip. (Read PNPC: “Poro Ninda Poro Chorcha”)
31. You are a life-long member of your para (locality) club. You have performed at the annual cultural functions organized by this club.
32. Even if you only like watching Bollywood flicks, frequent trips to Nandan and a visit to the Calcutta International Film Festival are essential for your aantel (intellectual) image.
33. You like proclaiming you are an atheist (even if you’re praying to Ma Kali every few seconds).
34. Quiz and Debate are competitive sports that you have participated in at least once in your life. And, yes, there is a quiz every day somewhere in town.
35. Football is in your blood. Mohun Bagan and East Bengal are your House Capulet and House Montague.
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