Search page
Open menu

20 New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes But (Almost) No One Ever Keeps!

Resolutions are meant to be forgotten - oops, we mean strictly adhered to. Every year we task ourselves with drawing up a list of things that we finally need to get done or sorted out. Once the list is made, we swear in the name of whatever power we believe in to strictly stick to it. But alas, if our convictions guided us for the better, the world would be a wonderful place. We bring you a list of 20 new year resolutions everyone makes but (almost) no one ever keeps!



1. Quit smoking


"I'm probably gonna die of some kind of cancer anyway. Why bother with the lungs so much?"



2. Get in shape, come what may. Bye, bye, TV. Hello, gym!


“What? They have started Sex and The City reruns every day? I am sure I can catch up on gymming over the weekend.” Next weekend: “Oh god, EVERYTHING makes me look fat!”


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps

3. This year is all about commitment and monogamy


"Umm. I’m not sure if I’m ready for such a big decision."



4. Drink less and make sure I never turn up hungover at work


“This place has Happy Hours all day?!”


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps



5. Stop drunk-dialling friends


Yeah, consider that after downing five shots of Tequila.



6. Start listening to my parents more


“The obedient girl? Me? No way. Remember Ella Enchanted?”


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps



7. Quit my job and do something that I actually enjoy


“But that also means no salary. How on earth am I gonna pay the car EMI?”



8. I will not over-spend and actually start saving for a change


“50% sale at Zara? Here I come!”



9. I will travel more


You: “Hello, I was just wondering if you had the time to consider my leave application.”


Boss: “And I am wondering why on earth are you bothered about that when the project deadline is two weeks later!”


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps



10. Get over my ex and stop stalking him on Facebook and Instagram


Spotted: Farewell Party Album. “What? He is moving to London? What am I doing with my life? Wait, who’s that girl hanging from his neck in every second photograph?!”



11. Start reading more


“Where will I get the money to buy a Nook?”



12. Start waking up early


"I cannot lose sleep over this."


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps



13. Not be bothered with what other people think


“I know I should have never bought that dress. I looked hideous. I could just tell from everyone’s faces”



14. No more swearing


“What the f***!” (Oops)



15. Learn how to play a musical instrument


“Yes, I have always wanted to play the guitar!” In three weeks: “Oh God, my fingers have scabs! The saxophone is way cooler.” In another two weeks: “Gosh, this is harder than exercising. I can barely hold my breath. Need to quit smoking.”


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps



16. Learn how to cook


"Umm, doesn’t Maggi count?"



17. Start taking driving lessons.


“Why on earth does everything need to happen early in the morning?”.



18. Clean the house more often and make it all pretty.


“Eh, how does it matter? I work all the time and have no social life, who will even find out if I continue living like a slob?”


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps



19. Start taking care of my health and improve my diet.


“I have an obligation to my own sanity. Cupcakes over depression any day...”



20. Actually wear all the clothes I haven’t touched in my wardrobe, and stop splurging on stuff I don’t need.


Did no girl EVER!


New Year Resolutions Everyone Makes And NEVER Keeps


GIFs: Giphy.com, Tumblr.com


MUST READ:  #LifeHacks: 15 Things Every Woman Should Do For Herself Every Year!

MUST-READ: #MorningBlues: Struggles Everybody Goes Through When Waking Up!
Published on Dec 31, 2014
POPxo uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website More info
Never miss a heart!

Set up push notifications so you know when you have new likes, answers, comments ... and much more!

We'll also send you the funniest, cutest things on POPxo each day!