You’re not in a traditionally romantic relationship with her. You guys are kind of friends with benefits. Basically, you’re just hooking up. No emotional entanglements or complications is the mantra of your relationship. But there are certain things beyond this to be kept in mind too. Here are the things the girl you are hooking up with wants you to know...
1. She likes cuddling. Because it's nice to have human contact. It doesn't mean she's breaking the rules of hooking up and is demanding too much.
2. Booty call is a two-way street. If you call at 11 p.m., suggesting you meet and expecting her to agree, you need to understand that there are some nights she'll call you and your availability would be appreciated.
3. Don't socialize with her friends if you're not going to invite her to your social dos. It makes for mixed signals, especially if she is your friend. If you're not comfortable being part of her wider social life, say no to invitations she might extend to you - she will understand it, even if she doesn't like it.
4. Don't make her your dirty little secret. Discuss things early on with her, and set down confidentiality guidelines that you're both going to follow. Privacy is one thing; not acknowledging her existence in public is a different thing altogether.
5. Unless you're running really late for work, feed her breakfast. And if she offers you some, stay back and eat. Heading out of the door without any food, after you've spent the night together engaged in far more intimate activities, is unnatural (and unhealthy).
6. Don't just sext, text too. Communication is important for any relationship - not only if you're a "couple". Intellectual engagement makes for better sex too.
7. Don't ever say: "Wow, you must really like sex, huh?" Appreciate the fact that she has a healthy sexual appetite, and you're a beneficiary.
8. Treat her with respect. Always. Even when you’re discussing her with your buddies.
9. If you're sleeping with other people, let her know. Even if you think that will make her call things off. She has the right to make informed decisions about things that might affect her sexual health.
10. Get yourself tested. And talk to her about doing the same. It's foolish to just assume that you're both safe.
11. Respect her boundaries. Whether it has to do with experimenting, the kind of contraceptives and protection you're using, the frequency of your hook-ups or the amount of emotional intimacy at play. Respect her boundaries, and she’ll respect yours.
12. If you find yourself romantically interested in another woman, tell her. She doesn't want to be a substitute for the person you actually want to be with.
13. Don't hook up with her if you're involved with someone else and she doesn't know this. No one wants to be unwittingly made part of an exercise in cheating.
14. Don't be judgmental about her life choices. She isn't judging yours.
15. If you want to graduate from hooking up to something more, you need to let her know. And make sure she knows that she can tell you the same thing without having to worry about you freaking out.
16. When you want to call things off, be direct and talk to her about it. Don't just disappear or stop calling. You'll make her feel used. And closure is important for one's peace of mind.
17. Be prepared for some messiness and drama at any and every point of your involvement with her. Nothing in life is cut and dried, especially when bodily fluid exchange is an integral part of the situation.
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