This story was updated in January 2019.
Breakups are hard, but learning to let go is harder. The time right after a breakup is perhaps the worst - when bittersweet memories run through your mind until you either start questioning your decision and wondering if you made a mistake, or you find yourself miserable over your heartbreak without an end in sight.
Well, guess what? Those memories will stay with you forever, but right now is the time for you to heal. How To Get Over A Breakup? Cherish the good times, try to forget the bad and pull yourself back into reality. The journey to recovery is tough, but you can get there by keeping one step after the other. And we're here to help you get there. :)
Tips On How To Get Over A Breakup
Cry Your Heart Out
It hurts, right? Then cry your heart out. Rant. Vent. But let it all out. Don’t let it bottle up inside you and suffocate you. Let the negativity exit your mind and soul. This will make you feel lighter. So, take that box of tissues and let the tears roll down your cheeks till you feel better. All the pain needs to get out of your system and then you start the healing process.
Cut Off All Contact
Not everyone can stay friends with an ex. It takes a great deal of objectivity to rekindle a friendship with someone who meant so much more. But that's a call you can only take much later. Right after your breakup, you need to cut yourself off completely from them. Resist the urge to call, text or meet them. Accept that your relationship didn't work out. Take it not as a failure (that you can somehow overcome by talking it out with your ex over and over again), but as a learning experience. Take the time and space to think about the whys and wherefores by yourself.
Block, If Need Be!
You’re not weak if you decide to block someone who hurt you or holds the power to still do so. Sometimes, we must block the ex from all social media platforms till we recover and accept the breakup. No matter how strong you think you are, at that point you ARE vulnerable. Healing process does take time and you must give it to yourself.
Letting go is hard but that doesn’t mean you have to always do it the hard way. You can go easy on yourself by keeping them out of your sight even on the social media platforms. You don’t have to see their Snapchats, Instagram feed or Facebook uploads - you need to be indifferent to their actions. Steer clear of the information overload. After all, ignorance truly is bliss sometimes.
Pen Your Thoughts And Feelings Down On A Paper
It's the oldest piece of advice in the book for a reason. Writing is therapeutic for most people. Putting your emotions down on paper will make a positive impact on your life. List out the things that didn't work out, what you have learned from your experience, the things that you would expect or wish for in your next relationship. Remember, though, the goal is to exorcize the negativity and reaffirm the positive things with this exercise. So, only positives here.
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Resist The Urge To Know What's Up With Them
It's completely normal to miss your ex, but that doesn't mean you need to check what they’re up. It's very difficult to restrain yourself, we know, but you HAVE to give it up. Whether you're looking at pictures of their new partner and feeling jealous, or reading about career success and wishing you were there to celebrate - it is just not healthy for you. You need to break away, so no asking your mutual friends if your partner talks about you or if he is doing well. Whatever their answer be, you will feel hurt all over again.
Go Out Shopping!
Not that you need a reason to swipe that card, but this can really be therapeutic when you’re feeling low. Scroll through all websites that you love and add things to your cart. Better yet, go out to the mall and pick whatever you like. Be it that dress you’ve been waiting to be on sale, a pair of stilettos or a handbag that you’ve been eyeing for the longest time now. Getting out of the house will be a great distraction, especially if you make it a shopping expedition with your girl gang.
Hang Out With A New Bunch Of People
Meet new people or hang out with a different set of friends than your mutual friends. You might just find some fabulous new friends, and a whole new world of interests through them. Interact with people from different walk of life. This will help you divert your mind and focus on newer things. Turn deaf ears to anyone who pulls you back by talking about your ex or telling you what they’re up to these days.
Say No To Drunk Dials
Go out will your girlies and party like there’s no tomorrow, but make sure to give your phone to friend you trust who would make sure you don’t end up making any drunk dials or sending any drunk texts to your ex. You don’t want a hangover AND regrets the morning after, trust me!
A pyjama party with your friends is just what you need after a bad breakup. You need to spend time with them and have candid conversations. Talk it out with them, give each other makeovers, reminisce childhood memories and laugh it off. You need to be surrounded by people who love you and care about you. You need their support and presence the most at this point. This will help you heal faster. Refrain from spending time alone as it'll make you sulk more and think more. And we all know that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop.
There are a zillion films that you can watch and lighten up your gloomy day. From rom-coms to thrillers, you need some good movies and a tub of popcorn to help you move on. In fact, you can binge watch TV shows. In case you’re wondering which movies to watch, fret not, we have curated the movie list
Go Out On Dates
You need something to get your mind off your ex and if going out and seeing other people helps you move on, then go for it. Get up and get dressed. Go out on dates and it sure will boost your confidence and pep you up. Plus, it’s a great way to meet new people and have some fun at it.
Don’t Jump Into A Relationship
Don’t jump into a relationship with someone until you have fully recovered from the heartbreak. You must commit to someone when you feel for them and not because you’re lonely. This way, they’ll become collateral damage and no one deserves to be just a rebound. That will be a disaster and you’ll end up hurting someone the way someone else hurt you. And the guilt will stay.
Pizzas, burgers, waffles and pancakes! Binge-eat whatever you love. You need a good meal to make you smile. As they say, some days you just have to create your own sunshine. So, go all out munching on your favourite food. If your stomach is happy, you’ll be happy too!
Get A Haircut
Go for a change. Get rid of the length or locks. It'll feel like shedding deadweight and will instantly make you feel lighter. Also, it'll make you feel new and fresh.
Pay Visits To The Pet Store
Don’t we all have a happy place? Pet stores are a pet lover’s paradise. Enjoy some downtime with the furry ones and you’ll be surprised to know how good can they make you feel. Pets shower unadulterated and unconditional love on you. They’d run around you and being around them would help you bring that smile back to your face.
Steer Clear Of Love Songs
Sure Channa Mereya, Tujhe Bhula Diya and Tum Hi Ho are delightful numbers, but you have to NOT listen to them when you’re heartbroken. Maybe once but not on a loop. You need nothing that would add to your pain. Listen to happy songs, songs that you can dance to and songs that do not remind you of him or the times that you spent with him. You must make a new playlist on your phone your iPod that has no Arijit Singh songs on it.
Revenge Body Time
We all know how a breakup makes you feel low and takes a toll on your confidence. Channel all your anger and hit the gym. Exercise to stay and it will help you divert the attention from what you have been going through in your life. Take all the aggression and run on the treadmill.
Join A Baking Class
Baking is liberating and can also have a therapeutic effect. When you look for the perfect recipe, mix all the ingredients then you’ll end up worrying about nothing but your dough.
Learn A New Language
Invest time in doing something that you love. Or better yet, learn something completely new. Learn a new language. It’ll help you broaden your horizon and also get to learn about a new culture. This will help you channel all your energy in something productive.
Nothing better than yoga to get rid of the toxicity in your mind and focus on things that are important. It is a great way to find back your happiness and get some clarity of thought. Meditate to calm yourself down. It'll help you in managing all your negative emotions. Breathe in positivity and breathe out the spite.
You need to relax and push away all the stress. Take a spa session to indulge yourself. Let the mints, aroma and body massage rejuvenate you and take your mind off the breakup. It’s about time you love and pamper yourself.
Read A Book
Books have the power to transport you from one place to other without having to physically move. Walk into a fantasy land where there are adventures, fun, thrill and no broken hearts.
Pack your bags and get out of the city for a bit. Travel lets you explore places and takes your mind off everyday things. Take some time off and think about your relationship - from a distance. It's easier to introspect if you're not introspecting at a place that is filled with memories of things you've done there together. If you're skeptical about travelling solo, grab a few friends and head out. Surround yourself with people who are brimming with positive energy - it will not only lift your mood but also (potentially!) change your whole outlook on life.
Learn To Let Go
If you were destined to be together, things would have worked out somehow. And if the fate wills it, it might happen someday anyway (with someone else). But what you need to remember at this very moment is Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. Let the past be, focus on your future, take steps to ensure your everyday happiness. Accept your past and understand that it happens to the best of us. Make peace with and let bygones be bygones. Life has a funny way of surprising us when we least expect it. Cherish the memories you shared - and move on.
Stick To Your Decision
Be positive, and be firm with your decision. If you've made up your mind to move on, don't look back! Look ahead, work on what you have and concentrate on your future. Don't do it for other people or for future relationships - do it for yourself. Believe in yourself and learn to live with your decisions - that's the biggest gift you can give yourself right now.
You have to forgive him and yourself for whatever happened. Learn to forgive him and yourself because holding grudges or berating yourself is not going to help anyone. But letting it go will give you peace of mind and you’ll never have sleepless nights. Remember, only you can set yourself free.
Good luck, ladies! We hope you'll emerge from your heartbreak stronger.
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