Lifestyle & Beauty Writer
Breakups are hard, but learning to let go is harder. The time right after a breakup is perhaps the worst - when bittersweet memories run through your mind, until you either start questioning your decision altogether and wondering if you made a mistake, or find yourself lost in misery over your heartbreak. Well, guess what? Those memories will stay with you forever; but right now is the time for you to heal. The time when you should be dealing with your breakup and moving on. Cherish the good times, try to forget the bad - and pull yourself back into reality. The journey to recovery is tough, but it will be totally worth it in the end. And we're here to help you get there. :)
Not everyone can stay friends with an ex. It takes a strong mind, a great deal of objectivity and a level of maturity that most of us can only dream of to be able to rekindle a friendship with someone who meant so much more. But that's a call you can only take much later. Right after your breakup, you need to cut yourself off completely from them. Resist the urge to call, text and meet your ex. Accept that your relationship didn't work out. Take it not as a failure (that you can somehow overcome by talking it out with your ex over and over again), but as a learning experience. Take the time and space to think about the whys and wherefores by yourself. Be independent!
It's the oldest piece of advice in the book for a reason. Writing is therapeutic for most people. Putting your emotions down on paper will make a positive impact in your life. List out the things that didn't work out, what you have learnt from your experience, the things that you would expect or wish for in your next relationship. Best of all? You get to vent and whine to your heart's content without people judging you. Remember, though, the goal is to exorcise the negativity and reaffirm the positive things with this exercise. Write to feel better, not to feel even more depressed.
It's completely normal to miss your ex, but that doesn't mean you stalk them to death. It's very difficult to restrain yourself, we know, but you HAVE to give it up. Whether you're looking at pictures of their new arm candy and feeling jealous, or reading about career success and wishing you were there to celebrate - it is just not healthy for you. Block their profiles on social media. And if that's not enough, and you're stalking him through mutual friends' newsfeeds and posts, switch off from social media altogether. You need to distance yourself.
The reason why we're saying this is because you obviously have mutual friends with your ex. Trust us, you don't want to hear about his life through them. So add variety to your social life. Meet new people or hang out with a different set of friends. Who knows? You might just find some fabulous new friends, and whole new world of interests through them.
Yes, travel. Pack your bags and get out of the city for a bit. Travel lets you explore places and takes your mind off everyday things. Take some time off and think about your relationship - from a distance. It's easier to introspect if you're not introspecting at a place that is filled with memories of things you've done there together! If you're sceptical about travelling solo, grab a few friends and head out. Surround yourself with people who are brimming with positive energy - it will not only lift your mood but also (potentially!) change your whole outlook on life.
If you were destined to be together, things would have worked out somehow. And if the fates will it, it might happen someday anyway. But what you need to remember at this very moment is: Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. Let the past be, focus on your future, take steps to ensure your everyday happiness. Cherish the memories you shared - and move on.
Be positive, and be firm with your decision. If you've made up your mind to move on, don't look back! Look ahead, work on what you have and concentrate on your future. Don't do it for other people or for future relationships or whatever else - do it for yourself. Believe in yourself, and slowly people too will start believing in you even more. Learning to live with your decisions - that's the biggest gift you can give yourself right now.
Good luck, ladies! We hope you'll emerge from your heartbreak as stronger, more confident rockstars. And that love will find you again soon. :)
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