Women’s bodies have always been misunderstood. They are either put on pedestals, or as something taboo that must not be talked about. Either way, it comes down to lack of conversation and awareness. In many cases even women are unaware about their own bodies. So it’s somehow unsurprising when know do little.
For instance, it’s a common occurrence for women to feel a certain way physically and sexually and not be able to share it with their partners. It’s almost as if we dread the idea of sharing because we are not sure if someone else will get it. An example is the use of condom – where their impact on our bodies go unnoticed. The good part is that there are brands that are trying to make a difference. Sirona Bleu is a recent example – where the condoms are built keeping women’s health in mind, given that there are no harmful chemicals.
However, though, we must talk about the subject more often, because it’s important. Here’s what some women shared:
1. “I think, there are times when things get too intense literally. So much so that it’s painful. The issue is that saying something like that, while in the act gets too awkward.”
– Umang
2. “Just the idea of telling my boyfriend that some days my vagina feels drier than usual, and it’s not because I’m not interested, is an entire conversation. I constantly feel like it’s easier to not say it, than have that.”
– Gauri
3. “Sometimes it’s difficult to tell them you don’t want to do all the theatrical stuff mid-session. They are so passionate and it breaks their heart.”
– Anonymous
4. “I had this deeply rooted fear of penetrative sex. When my partner and I tried, I’d just lock my legs. This happened multiple times. And he’d wonder if there was something he was doing wrong. He didn’t ask me but stopped after I couldn’t open myself up to him. This continued for a couple of years. Meanwhile I discovered there’s something called ‘vaginismus’, and I could be going through it. I know I should have but I didn’t consult gynac because, you know, it’s India, and I had a fear of being judged for having desires. Also, I was scared in general. I watched and read a lot about it. Tried doing things differently. Like, attempting it in the dark. Perhaps, it was the idea of being completely naked was scary. Or, dilators. I opened up to him about it and he was very understanding. He asked me to take all my time and I took a couple of years.”
– Anonymous
5. “There are some sexual acts that are just not as fun for me, precisely because they are less pleasurable and more hurting. The thing is that my partner thinks they are and should be pleasurable. So, I haven’t been able to have that talk.”
– Ishita Bansal
6. “Just telling my partner that I was allergic to latex was something. I kept trying to avoid the conversation, and hence, avoid sex. I have talked now because it was important, but it took me some time and effort to do that.”
– Anonymous
7. “Despite stimulation, I have always had a difficulty achieving an orgasm. I recently consulted a gynecologist, and it appears that this is a medial issue. It’s nothing big, but I haven’t been able to discuss this with my partner – given that he might not easily understand it.”
– Anonymous
8. “At times, the act of being fingered is pleasurable for me, but that’s not the case every time. It probably has something to do with how my vagina feels on most days. But I feel like men don’t get these things easily: just the fact that some days are different than others.”
– Anonymous
9. “We both are very open with most conversations, but I have been dealing with a low libido because of my hormones. I really want to share it with my boyfriend, but I keep thinking of the worst because men do have difficulties understating our bodies.”
– Anonymous
10. “My first time having sex was nothing like they tell in movies. It was confusing and we were unaware about most stuff. Just having to tell my partner that was a lot of effort for me.”
– Anonymous
There’s clearly a lot that we don’t know and talk about, and we must start somewhere.
