Last Friday saw a flock of celebrities arriving in Gujarat to participate in the pre-wedding celebrations of Anant Ambani and Radhika Merchant. I am writing about this today because I was mentally there last weekend, like most of us. The thing is, watching the Jamnagar extravaganza slowly take over my social media feeds wasn’t unnatural; that happens with anything Ambani. But me, closely watching every teeny-tiny development of a ‘pre’-wedding I wasn’t even invited to surely was.
You see, whenever Ambanis organise an event, you know it’s gonna become the talk of the town. The family takes its celebrations too seriously for the general imagination, going overboard with lavishness and arranging crossovers one can hardly recover from. Who knew we’d see Indian paps call Spider-Man ‘Tommy’ one day? But then, in Ambani’s multi-verse of madness, everything is possible.
— s 🖇️ (@shookarchive) April 2, 2023
I remember in 2018, Mukesh and Nita Ambani arranged Beyonce’s private concert for their daughter Isha’s pre-wedding festivities. Everybody was astounded by the power this family held. This time, for their youngest, Rihanna returned from her 8-year-hiatus and performed her hit songs.
Who knows if the couple invites Taylor Swift to their son’s wedding reception? They do this stuff privately, and I don’t want to be the one missing Swift in India under any circumstance. Besides, watching pop icons perform without paying the hefty ticket price is a treat only Ambani can afford for his guests, and I want to be there on the guest list.
Rihanna's $6M performance of "All Of The Lights" in India at the son of Billionaire Mukesh Ambani's wedding pic.twitter.com/d1J4ZfvWzE
— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) March 2, 2024
My demands are simple. I want a weekend retreat in the lap of luxury. What I’m seeking here is escapism. Like, not having to attend a chaotic 1.5-hour-long metro journey to the office to write about what it’d be like to attend an Ambani event, but actually breathe that experience. Like, not hearing Rihanna sing ‘Bitch Better Have My Money‘ on Spotify but watching her perform the song live in a room full of billionaires. Now, that would be hilarious.
Rihanna – Bitch Better Have My Money ❤️
— Kohlified 🗿 (@ShreeGZunjarrao) March 2, 2024
Rate this performance in comments.#Rihannapic.twitter.com/WvI9YcFjly
It’s not every day you see SRK, Aamir, and Salman Khan dance together. As SRK himself once suggested, one can’t simply afford the three of them together in theatre. But you know who can? Mukesh Ambani. While we’re on the subject, I’d like to tell SRK that my list of favourite things (and people) has evolved, but he’s been permanent ever since I watched him fall off the ceiling in the entry sequence on Main Hoon Na. What better place to tell him that than an informal personal gathering like that? I think he’d take me seriously. This is under the assumption that being on the guest list would, by default, facilitate interactions with anyone and everyone. Everything is connected in the Ambani universe.
The family has deep connections within the Hindi film industry. Now, I do not have far-fetched plans to become an actor or something, but I don’t mind being one among the team of writers for good directors. Or, perhaps, being one of the people behind Meta’s social media. *winks* Hey, Mark Zuckerberg was also there. And at a gathering like that, I would like to expand my career horizons and subtly pitch my resume.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife stunned after seeing Anant Ambani's watch. He's wearing a watch worth 14 Crore INR 🇮🇳🤯#AmbaniPreWedding @elonmuskpic.twitter.com/BuI85JHWJN
— Farid Khan (@_FaridKhan) March 3, 2024
By the way, I was actually serious when I said I was seeking a weekend’s escape, even though all this career-related conversation may appear otherwise. You see, a girl has to take her chances! But I bet going on a ‘picnic’ with celebrities could be very entertaining. As do dawning outfits custom-designed by designers unique to the themes of the grand itinerary.
I think I already know what I would have worne on Day 1. You see, this would be my ‘elegant cocktail’ –
Besides, it would be supremely entertaining to watch Shera lifting Salman Khan. Or watching him play the drums with Akon. Or, dance to Diljit Dosanjh’s concert. Or, seeing Orry scramble the entire venue taking the same shot with every celebrity present. Or, hearing Rihanna calling Radhika, Radhaki. Or, watching celebrities dressed as if they’re at a Met Gala. I am assuming every sight here would be better than the other, and I’d be fine being on my own even if I’m just a mute spectator. Not that I want to be one, please remember I have a hidden professional motif as well.
Rockstar @diljitdosanjh who stole the whole show in ambani's pre wedding #DiljitDosanjh pic.twitter.com/nbqZjbBnEr
— TAJINDER KALSI 🏏 (@Tajinder_13_13) March 4, 2024
Okay, I agree all this was too far-fetched for my own good. Like, a fantasy fiction of sorts. Right now, I actually am in my office, having written what it’d be like to attend an Ambani wedding to cope with what was last weekend for me. It’s not everything, but tapping into my wildest imagination was one. I’ve returned from Jamnagar to Kaamnagar. Guess I’ll wait for July now!
