Let’s be honest: no one knows us better than our bras! They get all up and personal with us nearly every day of the week (come on, no one wears one on Sunday!!). But did you ever imagine what your bra would say if it could talk?! I reckon mine would be pretty sassy and have a few words of wisdom to pass on – after all, she’s the one who’s been supporting me all these years! Ha…
1. On Personal Hygiene…
“Oh sure! So, it’s fine for YOU to have a shower every day – but I get one once or twice a week if I’m lucky!!”
2. On The End Of The Day
“Wow, today’s been a long one. I cannot wait to go home and be ripped off and strewn across the floor. Sigh, just once I wish she would take me off in bed and cuddle.”
3. On Physical Exercise
“Oh, god. Here come the stairs again. Just because she thinks she needs to get some exercise in does not mean me and the ladies agree. Alright, girls, here we go – hold tight”.
4. On Silly Boyfriends
“If he uses me as some form of hat or butt cheek attire one more time. I am seriously going to start bursting at the seams. It’s not funny!!”
5. On Pesky Best Friends
“Uh, uh, Shivani, too late – she ain’t going anywhere tonight. I’m already off and laying down in the corner, sorry, gurrrl, call earlier next time. We off to bed tonight.”
6. On Snack Time
“It’s sweet that you try and feed me, hunny. I can only assume that’s what you’re trying to do with all the crumbs that get dropped my way (and then “forgotten” about)! Popcorn is kind of tickly, though.”
7. On Going Clubbing
*Singing* “We rich, we rich, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Show me the money, show me the money!!”
8. On SexyTime
“Lol, so you spent over 15 minutes trying to match me with your panties today and expect me to not know that we’re getting lucky tonight? Oh, girl – you act as if I don’t know you at all!!”
9. On Guy Troubles
“Why do you always go for the ones who think I’m too complex? They can never get me off properly and just seem to spend ages fiddling. Is it me, am I not simple enough for them?”
10. On Breaking Up
“Look, babe, I know we’ve had a good run and many, many fond memories together. But it’s time for me to let go. I can’t keep supporting you, even though I really want to. Truly, I’m being ripped at the seams and one of my wires has even started to go. Like Adele says, ‘Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead’…”
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