Sex? Food? Sex? Food? Hmm, we’re so confused about which one is better. Nah, just kidding. We all (may or may not) love sex, but we all LOVE food. And for good reason too! Here is a list of 23 reasons why food is actually better than sex!
1. You can order food over the phone
When you want it, how you want it – and it usually comes with extra cheese!
2. No one’s going to judge you when you pay for your food
And, if you don’t get it within 30 minutes or less, it’s sometimes free!
3. You can customize your food exactly how you like it!
Extra large pickle, thank ya.
4. The closest you can get to pregnant from eating food…
… is when you have a food baby in your tummy!
5. No one will ever judge you for eating and doing other stuff at the same time
Hey, look my favourite TV show is on. I can watch it AND eat my food.
6. No aunties will ever give you a lecture about having premarital food
In fact, they’re more likely to say “Beta, thoda aur le lo”. Yeaaaah. Score!
7. Bacon.
Better than a bit o’ sausage, anyday!
8. Sure, you could get a heart attack after eating one too many bucket of fried chicken
BUT chicken will never actually break your heart by not calling you back. Finger-Lickin-Good indeed. (In fact, you would be worried if the chicken tried to call you.)
9. You can eat 3 times a day, every day of the month, and no one will dare tell you that you have a problem
Because, you know, that’s just for survival.
10. You can have food by yourself
You don’t have to woo and seduce a partner and stuff.
11. That morning after business…
Sex: Walk of shame. Food: Ooo, leftovers!!!
12. You don’t have to cuddle after food
But it sure does make you feel all warm and cuddly on the inside… OMG mashed potatoes!
13. You don’t need protection when you’re eating food
Except, maybe, a napkin.
14. You won’t get arrested for eating food in public
Oh, this country!
15. Baskin Robbins have 36 varieties of ice cream. Combine 2 or more, and you got yourself an ice cream sundae
We all like a bit of chocolate AND vanilla sometimes.
16. Because making a reservation for a table for three…
… is a lot easier than organizing a threesome!
17. You can rate and review your food online
But there’s no Zomato for sex yet!
18. You don’t have to care about how you must look naked when it comes to food
You think Cheese Crust Pizza cares about that?
19. No one cares how many positions you stuff your face with food in
Hardly something your friends will discuss at that Girls’ Night Out, eh?
20. A tub of ice cream will never accidentally poke you if try to spoon it
Food injuries are not embarrassing to explain to your doctor.
21. Food gives you energy
Sex just takes away energy. #Science
22. You post-food bliss will never be ruined with a discussion about “Where is this going?”
Because the answer is dessert. ALWAYS dessert.
23. If you’ve never had sex, you’re a virgin
If you’ve never had food, well, you’re dead.
GIFs: Giphy
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